“I Should Send a Note and Cup of Coffee to My 20’s Self”
by Dr. Jesú Estrada October 7, 2017 It’s odd, sitting in a coffee shop Starbucks in Hyde Park full of Beautiful black men Multi-Patchworked Children Families, Safe, Families: Kids learning to order tall hot chocolates, chocolate produced from the hands of exploited children And me without that former angst of incompleteness. That longing for true, true, TRUE fantasy like-telenovela-love of teenage wet dreams, bored. But always there. I am Mucho Mas Contenta, no es que este mas vieja. No I am not a wise old cliché, aged and easier to process. [And this goddamned fly keeps trying to make love to my left leg and shit on it at the same time!] [Let me drink my Venti fantasy of true happiness! You fly fucker.] I pour myself deep, doing what I really was meant to be-- To do. In actual peace. There is no gap of infinite grief anymore for someone. Anyone. Not chasing what never was, a false self, infused by gringo ads and gringo TV shows from the 70’s.
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Jesú Estrada
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