You know what I'm talking about. I mean that writing high imbued with love and real life force. The thing you love to do and could do for hours, and I don't mean screwing. I thought it had gone MIA or permanently dormant or God forbid gotten passed onto someone else like my son, but there it was.
Like reuniting with a loved one or old school friend and picking up right where you left off. Except this time, I have less clutter in my head and far less distractions, mental distractions. I guess in my mid-forties, I am more focused and centered. I still word-vomit, but I believe I can really get shit done.
This morning, I got up at 5a.m. Unfortunately, my daughter thought it was her time. Still, I cuddled her and was just present to her needs. Then, I got up, made coffee, and went at it again. You can see the next page or so here: The Harvest. I like the direction this shitty draft is going in because I will have enough material to revise it. Some of the sections are really dialogue heavy, but character interaction and struggle are the foundation for plot movement. I'll just let the work flow because it does flow once I sit my butt on the chair.
On a very odd side note, I wanted to write about human connection and performance. I was at this reading on Saturday, which was awesome and beautiful, and I was sadly struck by the number of poets who were reading from their phones. I like phones. I like their ingenuity and what you can do with phones, but they make me more sad now.
At the reading, these wonderful poets just stared at their phones while they recited their work. Some never projecting their voices. This doesn't mean they are bad performers or lousy poets, but because they never looked at the audience, I got lost and didn't even hear their words. I wanted them to connect with the audience. In fact, I was expecting them to put their whole selves into it, but the phones got in the way like some fucked up dehumanizing barrier.
I hope I never have to read off the phone, ever and when I teach creative writing again, I am going to focus on human connection. My students better do their best to connect with their audience and put their best effort and projecting their voice.
In fact, I am making that a personal goal to connect.
Today, maximize something positive and human you thought you lost, but was under the psychological covers all the time. #Resist
Dr. Jesú Estrada,