We all have them. Some fucked up relationship issue that is permanent or temporary. For me, it was the anger I had towards my older brother. I didn't talk to him for years; now, it's my older sister who I blocked out emotionally, really, because we got into a fight over a stupid text a few Christmases ago, which was patently absurd. I sent a picture of my daughter and accidentally sent it to her son's estranged wife. I wrote my sister off just like I did my brother and haven't really talked to her since then. She also doesn't apologize and rarely does my brother, which didn't make the reconciliation easy.
That is a spiritual snake. Life is too short to live like this, so, sometime today, I am going to give her a call and at least leave a message. I may lift the texting ban, but I doubt it. Besides, I have seen the nasty texting wars my siblings have, and I am Switzerland.
Anyway, I just need to get this off my chest. This post is really about how broken my husband's family relationships are. He hasn't spoken to his parents in years, since he was like 15, because frankly, it is the genuinely correct thing to do. Sometimes, you just have to break away from family.
He got adopted by people who didn't love him or treat him well. (Why adopt a foreign child, then? Who knows?) In fact, he doubted he could be a good father because of how he was raised and mistreated, and he was quite wrong, thank God. My husband is an attentive father and devoted husband.
However, he does have a sisters he gets along with, and I was talking to my husband this morning because technically her kids are our kids' cousins, and they should be together more often. It makes me sad that when my son refers to his cousins, he is talking about the ones miles away in Arizona or his cousin in the suburbs that he rarely sees.
Of course, my side of the family is very loving and affectionate towards Antonio; they always have been and equally so with Simona, but we are Mexicans after all, and frankly, all my family spoils my kids because they are little. All my aunts and uncles love him very much, but they, too, are way out on the west coast.
In Wisconsin, we have a Great Granma that sees our kids the same and has always been very kind to us, and also, an aunt and uncle that have taken on the Granma and Granpa role, but we see them maybe twice a year. That is not how it is supposed to be, and it is on us to go see them and to call them because the drive here is too far for them, plus we're not really their kids, and our house has been such a mess. We haven't had them over in a very long time. I haven't invited them over to the house, really for their sake. They would not be comfortable in our living space.
I hope when we move, our new place will be more acceptable for visits from them or by anyone.
To that end, I am off to clean and cook. Today is our first-ever, post-Thanksgiving tamale party. As events have developed, it is a is also a farewell to our house, seeing how our husband is having us move out by this Wednesday. (He is fucking dreaming, but we will make it happen because we must.)
Enough ranting and reflecting.
Kill the spiritual snakes in your life and liberate yourself.
Dr. Jesú Estrada,