This is a victory post. Really. I know it doesn't seem like it because as soon as someone says Writer's Block, I think most writers feel like they get kicked in the gut. Others remember the paralyzing fear of writing a term paper or nearing a deadline with no clue what to write about. Fear. Dread. Mortification.
Now, let me introduce you to "writing brain fatigue". On Saturday, after my son was fed and watered (my four-year-old daughter was asleep, thank goodness), I sat at the computer at 7 a.m. like I always do first thing to write. Nothing. It wasn't that I didn't have ideas. My brain was like, "Fuck you! I'm on strike!" I could write everything but my story. What was even more annoying is that I had the story mapped out. I had so many ideas the previous day, dialogue lines, struggles. Yeah.
After a few hours of sitting there and goofing off on social media, I opened up the document and knuckled down. You know what happened? Nothing.
Not. A. Damn. Thing.
So then I started to get a little worried. Then, a lot worried. I did some chores, fed and watered kid #2. I thought to myself, I will try to take a nap. I couldn't sleep. Finally, I thought what I would tell my students in this predicament. (I would tell them to take a nap.) But, what would I tell a writer?
"Sit your ass at the computer and wait." If you show up, in theory, your muse will show up.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what I did. The writing was slow, painful, lethargic. It was NOT my usual word-vomit process that just pours out: I know that's nasty. No, this process was like oatmeal, bland, unexciting oatmeal. I finally got it done and managed to go over 75% of it yesterday.
No doubt, I am just fatigued. I have also been fighting a perpetual migraine, and these weather changes don't help.
But I showed up, sat down, and got it done. I hope this never happens to me or to you. Now, as I am revising the story, I hope the writing isn't dull and slow. If it is, I can always revise it, but "Mona's Return" is done at 42 pages.
Phew! What an ordeal and what a victory.
The virtual release party for that free story is still set for May 1, 6 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Unfortunately, it may just be me Live Streaming on my Author Wall because I could not add my author guest on Sunday during our test run. I am not sure why that was since I added my guest on Easter so easily. I am researching that aspect and am asking my friend P.S. Malcolm for advice.
Whatever your writing struggle is today, show up and stick to your guns. Your story deserves it. YOU deserve it. Be patient, your muse will show up.
Well, friends, I hope you overcome all of your struggles today. No matter how slowly you get to that victory. #barrioblues
Dr. Jesú Estrada,