Through all of this, however, I have increased the number of friends and have a tight community of writers I can count on for support. I have also started seeing a counselor and taking anti-depressants. I have a fantastic life coach who is helping me manage burnout. Last but not least, I am working with the spiritual director I trust.
All of these drastic changes have caused me to reflect on how to take care of myself or try to figure out how to take care of myself. What am I working so hard for? Why do I make such herculean efforts to serve others and not prioritize my family—my husband and children—to the max? Why don’t I ever prioritize myself?
That is on what I am focusing. Getting my priorities straight and not being such a damned workaholic. Family and I come first. At least, that's the plan.
I also have areas of study I want to dive into that will bring me life and intellectual fulfillment. I want to practice slow multitasking. There’s a cool Ted Talk "A Powerful Way to Increase Your Natural Creativity" by Tim Harford on it which really sparked my motivation.
- My novel, The Harvested or other novel
- Cooking and learning the science and expertise of it
- Child rearing especially post-COVID-19
- Political Economy
- New Theories on Feedback for Students
- Radical Pedagogy
Anyway, if I it will be to focus on my writing and these priorities. I have always enjoyed doing internal work. The problem is that it hasn’t really stuck. Life is too short to be asking these questions at my age.
I lost friend suddenly, out of the blue. I don’t want to blink out having focused so much on overworking myself without purpose.